Lately, my mind has been obsessed with my ex-girlfriend. No matter what I do, I can’t help but recall every moment we spent together. Those beautiful memories replay in my mind like a movie, relentlessly looping. This yearning has driven me to a state of extreme depression, making it difficult to concentrate at work and completely devoid of joy in life. I know it won’t do me any good, but I simply can’t stop thinking about her. I’m truly distressed. What can I do to shake this low mood and regain a positive outlook on life?
Instructor’s Analysis:
This extreme depression caused by missing an ex-girlfriend has many factors. Emotionally, the former relationship was deeply invested, forging a deep emotional connection. After the breakup, this bond persists, and the yearning for her stems from a reluctance to let go of the beautiful past. Those warm and sweet memories become an inseparable part of the heart, leading to a period of immersion in the past.
Psychologically, people often retain a deep impression of unfinished matters and struggle to let go. A breakup signifies the abrupt end of a relationship, dashing many expectations and plans. This sense of incompleteness prompts a constant revival of the past, seeking a sense of “completion” in memory. Furthermore, current stress and frustration can lead to a yearning for the warmth and comfort of the past relationship, leading to an idealization of the ex-girlfriend, further exacerbating the longing for her and the low mood.
Socially, the shift in social circles after a breakup can lead to a lack of people with whom to confide and provide support. In this state of loneliness, it’s easier to get lost in thoughts of your ex, and without someone to confide in, these low emotions can’t be promptly resolved and channeled, allowing them to accumulate.
Instructor’s Advice:
First, face your emotions bravely and don’t suppress your longing for your ex. Find a quiet place to calm down and write down your feelings, including the longing for your ex, the pain of the breakup, and the uncertainty about the future. Writing helps you release your inner emotions and gain a clearer understanding of your feelings.
Second, try to divert your attention and enrich your life. Create a fulfilling plan and immerse yourself in work, study, or hobbies. For example, enroll in a new skill training course like painting or photography. Or, increase your physical activity. Running or fitness programs can not only improve your mood but also your physical fitness. When your life is filled with meaningful activities, your attention will be diverted from missing your ex, and your mood will gradually improve.
Finally, expand your social circle and make new friends. Participate in various social activities, such as gatherings with friends and industry conferences, to interact with different people. New relationships can bring new ways of thinking and life experiences, helping you move on from past relationships. By spending time with new friends, you can share stories, gain emotional support and resonance, and gradually overcome your low mood and regain a positive outlook on life.
User comment 1:
I understand your feelings. Missing your ex is indeed difficult. But you have to try to move on. You can do what I did before and find a new goal. After our breakup, I decided to get a certificate. I was busy studying every day, and gradually, I stopped missing my ex as much. Also, get out more often, meet new people, and maybe you’ll find new love. Don’t be alone all the time; keep yourself busy.
User comment 2:
I think your longing may be due to a monotonous life, causing you to dwell on the past. You should try something new, like traveling, seeing different sights, and experiencing different things in life. During your travels, you’ll meet all kinds of people and experience many interesting things. Who knows, when you come back, your ex might not seem so important anymore. Life is wonderful. Don’t get stuck in your past relationships; be brave and move on.
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